There’s no shortage of books and articles urging men to “man up” and act like men. However, most of these look toward a perceived understanding of what it is to be a man. We have heroes that we look up to and love the hero in the action movie. We read biographies of great men who accomplished great historical feats that changed the course of history. We love to read of fictional characters in novels who face danger head-on. We love to be like Strider in The Lord of the Rings. However, most of these perceptions are not based on biblical truths. They are often one-sided, influenced by culture more than the Bible.
This is one of the great reasons I love reading historical books—you are introduced to other aspects of the Bible. This happened when we were reading through Thomas Watson’s The Godly Man’s Picture: Drawn with a Scripture Pencil in a men’s book study. The week when all of my training as a man (with English and Scottish blood in my veins) said, “Maybe I should call in sick this week.” The chapter was titled, “A Man Who Weeps.” Instilled in me is the idea that we need to be tough and strong. Tears are a sign of weakness.
Godly Men Cry
Watson, in classic Puritan fashion, lays out six reasons why a godly man weeps:
For the indwelling of sin;
For the adherency of corruption;
For being overcome by the prevalence of corruption;
That he cannot be more holy;
Out of the sense of God’s love; and
Because the sin of a justified person is very odious.
Watson expresses not merely that we be weepers, quick to shed tears, but that we would be evangelical weepers. If Watson were writing for the modern church, the section would be called “Gospel-Centered Weeping.” Watson expresses two types of people who cry but do not engage in ‘evangelical’ weeping. He says men are quick to cry when they lose a loved one but not when they are in danger of losing God and their souls. The second is those who are quick to weep but continue to walk in their wickedness. Watson encourages us to have our faces shine with tears of sorrow and joy. Watson says: “[Repenting tears] are beautifying; a tear in the eye doth more adorn than a ring on the finger; oil makes the face to shine, tears make the heart to shine; tears are comforting; a sinner’s mirth turns to melancholy, a saint’s mourning turns to music.”
Watson is not reflecting a cultural phenomenon but a biblical one, as the title suggests, that this portrait of a godly man is drawn with the HB pencil found in Scripture. Many of the men of faith in the pages of Scripture weep. Abraham (Gen 23:2), Jacob (Gen 29:11; 37:35; 45:26–28), Joseph (Gen 42:24; 43:30; 45:1–2; 50:1), Moses (Num 11:10), David (1 Sam 30:4; 2 Sam 1:12; 12:16–22; 13:36; 18:33), Elisha (2 Kgs 8:11–12), Ezra (Ezra 10:1), Nehemiah (Neh 1:4), Job (Job 16:20), Jeremiah (Jer 9:1; Lam 1:16), Peter (Matt 26:75), Paul (Acts 20:37), and Jesus (John 11:35; Luke 19:41). These men weep because of the sorrow of death of loved ones (spouses, parents, children, and friends), frustration over people’s complaints, the anticipation of future suffering, the sins of the people and their unfaithfulness, the demise of God's people, personal grief and suffering, repentance for personal sin, and the sorrow of saying goodbye.
Why We Need More Evangelical Weepers
The reality is that this topic is not discussed nearly enough. Tears and weeping are a thing only to be found on this earth. In Heaven, all tears will be wiped from our eyes (Rev 21:4).
More could be written about this topic. But for now, let us reflect and consider the easiest memory verse in the Bible, John 11:35: “Jesus Wept.” This profoundly simple verse shows the reality of what it means to be a man living on this side of Heaven. In this life, we are surrounded by tragedy, tribulations, and temptations. This alone should cause us to weep. However, the godly man looks not only at the world but also at his heart. He sees the sin that remains and weeps. The sinful woman weeps at Christ’s feet (Luke 7:38), and the group of women weep as they see Christ led to the cross (Luke 23:27–28).
We should understand this reality in our lives: that we weep for our sins and also weep for our sins that placed Christ upon the cross. We need more men to cry and weep for their sin and the sorrow in this world. We need shepherds who shed tears when sheep in their care are harmed and hurting. We need fathers to weep secretly in their closets before the great throne of grace, but also in front of their wives and children for the pain they have caused. We need to be able to start asking other men, “When was the last time you cried?” We need evangelical weepers.
Big girls don’t cry, but godly men do.
Thomas Rickard is the pastor of Seven Springs Presbyterian Church in Glade Spring, VA.