Recently, I have finished preaching through Paul's short letter to his disciple, Titus. Admittedly, it took me roughly twice as long as I originally planned. Still, it has become one of my favorite books to preach due to its application to the local church's health. Many commentators and preachers, including me, have argued that Paul is giving us the blueprints for a healthy church in this letter. In chapter one of this letter, Paul begins by focusing on church leadership and the qualifications of elders. Then, he moves to an appeal to ensure the silencing of false teachers. Then, in chapter two, Paul, after giving a brief but powerful proclamation to teach sound doctrine, outlines the godly characteristics of church members that will "adorn the doctrine of God our Savior" (Titus 2:10).
In this exhaustive list of characteristics that should be displayed by older men and women and younger men and women, Paul gives multiple exhortations to ensure that relational discipleship is taking place within the local church. Magnificently, Paul declares that the edification and sanctification of the believer is not the sole responsibility of the pastor or the elders, but the training up in godliness falls to the relationships amongst the members as well. We know from other places in scripture that we are not to neglect the assembly of the believers so that we might encourage one another as we sing, pray, and diligently hear the Word of God read and preached (Eph. 5:19-20; Col. 3:16; 1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 10:25). However, it is here in Titus 2 that Paul talks about a relational discipleship that should exist between the older and younger generations with the local church.
Here is what Paul writes in Titus 2: 3-8,
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
At first glance, you might argue that relational discipleship is for older and younger women, but in verse six, the term "urge" is essential as it pertains to the relationship between the older and younger men. Using parallel translations of the scriptures helps us to see what I am talking about. In the New International Version, the scholars include the word "Similarly…," which allows the reader to connect the relationship between the women and the men. That connection is instrumental in understanding what Paul is writing. In the local church, the older generation should train the younger generation in godliness. Paul sees this instrumental relationship between the older men and the younger men within the local church as one that assists in sanctification. We should also notice that this appeal is given commandment-like language, meaning that the older men must be committed to this relational discipleship. Just as these older men are to “be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness" (Titus 2:2), they are also to be training up the younger men in Christlikeness.
Now, how does this work? How should older men train younger men in the local church? Let me offer a few practical and fruitful ideas that I have witnessed:
Intergenerational Book Studies: First, I am not discounting the idea of men's bible studies; they are vitally important, but I want to offer the concept of men reading through great books together. Furthermore, I am not advocating for just any book, either. What I have seen produce much fruit in the local church is men, both young and old, reading books about manhood together. Works like The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson and The Masculine Mandate by Rick Phillips are great books. These times of study and discussion lend themselves to thinking through the ideas of male headship, working hard, being a father and husband, being a faithful churchman, and most importantly, how to be a man to the glory of Christ. I have witnessed older men helping younger men think through what it is like to repent of sins against their children, how to mortify sins like lust, and a better understanding of emotions in the life of a godly man. All of these, and much more, are instrumental in biblical masculinity.
Officer Shepherding Groups: My church separates our congregation into four shepherding groups. Each group is led by two ruling elders, along with two deacons. As a part of their shepherding duties, these four church officers regularly meet to pray for their groups and discuss any shepherding issues that might be present. While this is a duty of being a faithful church officer, and while it has an official obligatory duty, you might think that this cannot be a part of the relational discipleship that Paul discusses in Titus 2. However, I have witnessed relationships between these four men grow exponentially while they serve and lead together. These relationships often become some of the strongest bonds within the local church, and they genuinely assist the elders (usually older men) in promoting godliness amongst our deacons (usually younger men).
Men’s Fellowship Outings: In a much less official capacity, occasional men's outings to promote relationships bear much fruit. These outings should always promote masculinity and, at the same time, be enjoyable. The lack of structure is a benefit. By not having an agenda, there is more time for one-on-one conversations and fellowship. As a younger man, I always enjoy a round of golf, a fishing trip, or a group outing to a local sporting event. No creativity is needed; pick an activity and let the organic relationships continue to strengthen. These godly relationships will naturally and progressively become more discipleship.
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