Recently, I spent several days at a cabin in West Virginia with a few men from church who I am blessed to call my friends and brothers. I was struck by the depth of conversation, the acknowledgement of sin, the love of Christ and His Scriptures, and the desire for continued sanctification. Yes, these things are needed by all Christians the world over, but it is vitally important for men as husbands, fathers, and leaders in the church and the world to desire these things. One of the great themes of our conversation on this trip was God and His steadfastness in enabling us to love our wives and parent our children, despite our sin.
During the trip, my mind was continually brought to Psalm 127 and the psalmist’s acknowledgement of God’s blessing upon our lives. Consider the two parts of Psalm 127: (1) God establishes your house and (2) God establishes your family.
The opening two verses of the psalm tell us several things that the Lord does: He builds the house, He watches over the city, and He gives rest or sleep to His beloved. The psalmist creates poetic juxtaposition here as he calls attention to God’s work. When he says “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain,” he is implying that it is not vanity if God is the one building the house. The psalmist implies the same for the watchman; if the Lord is the one watching over the city, that work is not in vain. Finally, he uses the same analogy when he speaks of work; if we labor ourselves, spinning our wheels in the mud, it is in vain. But God alone is the one who truly gives His people rest.
As men, it is quite tempting to work our jobs, build our houses, or do our yard work for our own sake. This is something I struggled with for years in my secular career; I was working hard for myself and my own recognition. As men, we often believe more in the American dream of pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps or the mantra “life is what we make it.” We believe this is freedom. But true freedom lies not in “eating the bread of anxious toil,” because that bread will never satisfy; it will never truly satiate our hunger. True freedom lies in resting in the bread of life and resting in God’s provision for us and for our families. I call this true freedom because when we rely upon God’s provision, then we are free to work hard for His glory and not for our own.
Daniel Estes says “After tearing down the vain human edifice of success in v. 2, the psalmist lays a new foundation for a life of true significance in vv. 3-5, thus providing a solution to the problem presented in the first wisdom saying.”[1] The psalmist points out the vanity of straining to build our household and heritage ourselves, the vain notion of worldly success, and he follows it up by pointing out the solution: raising godly children.
The psalmist goes on to point out that “children are a heritage from the LORD,” and “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” I am an avid bowhunter and I shoot my bow several times a week. There are countless minute details which go into an arrow’s flight; from the creation of the arrow shaft, to how the vanes or feathers are fletched to the arrow, the weight of the arrow and the field tip or broadhead, the flexibility of the arrow, all the way to the bow itself, how it is strung, the weight of the draw, etc. There are yet more details which go into the mechanics of drawing and firing the arrow; how you draw the bow, where you anchor your hand at full draw, aiming the bow, how you release the arrow, and the wind conditions which affect the arrow’s flight path. Archers and bowhunters spend countless hours building their arrows, tuning their bow, and practicing their draw and release of the shot. This is what an archer does with an arrow; he fires it. An archer does not just hold the arrows in his hand.
Brothers, your children are the arrows in your hand and you are the archer. As you raise your children, you are crafting that arrow, spending countless hours, days, months, and years constructing it, practicing with it, and tuning your shot technique. One day, that tuning will be done and the time will come to fire your children off into the world. Like arrows in your hands are the children of your youth.
I encourage you to devote yourselves to crafting your children, raising them up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” as the baptism vows in the Presbyterian Church in America say. This is not easy work and I write this to encourage myself as much as I write it to encourage anyone else. Spend time reading Scripture with your children, study the catechisms with your children, take them to corporate worship on the Lord’s Day, teach and model for them a love of Sabbath rest, love their mother, and model for them what a Christian man looks like in his speech, in his actions, and in his prayers. One day, your children will be the archer, fine-tuning your grandchildren as they prepare to fire them out into the world. Trust that God the Father is the one who holds our children in His hand and gives us the strength and endurance to train them up.
Brothers, our children belong to God the Father and He has entrusted them to us for a few short years on this earth. This work is not vanity like the beginning of Psalm 127. Rather, it is one of the most important works you can do with your life. Spend your time trusting in God’s providence and crafting your children into God-fearing adults, and you both will be blessed in the process.
[1] Daniel J. Estes, Psalms 73-150, ed. E. Ray Clendenen, Vol. 13, New American Commentary (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2019), 481.
Jared Dean serves as pastoral intern at Liberty Church PCA in Owings Mills, MD while he pursues ordination. Jared has also served as a police officer for 15 years and a provisionally-endorsed chaplain for 1.5 years at a county police department in Maryland. Jared and his wife Kristin have been married for 15 years and have three daughters.
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