True friends and authentic friendships are often amiss today. We give much lip service to the idea of friendship and even refer to others as "friends." Yet, this is usually a loose and weak term. I have repeatedly made the case that there is a glaring difference between knowing of someone versus truly knowing them. In my small-town South Carolina context, we frequently refer to individuals we know of as friends. Yes, we might spend time together and occasionally share conversations at social gatherings, but is this friendship real? Let me be frank: it isn't, but sadly, that is how we define friendship these days.
This issue is magnified in the lives of men. Let me use a few examples to explain. Men cross paths in the gym, talk sports, and ask each other questions about the latest political chaos. While this might be "friendly," it is not real friendship. Husbands get drug along to social gatherings by their wives; they congregate in the corner with the spouses and share a few drinks and conversation. This isn't real friendship either; this is just passing the time until your wife is ready to go home.
Overall, these are not bad things. God has designed us to be communicative creatures and to enjoy camaraderie with other men. The issue arises when we convince ourselves that this defines authentic friendships.
Biblically speaking, true friendships are defined by iron sharpening iron, and one man sharpening another (Prov. 27:17). Real friendships are designed for mutual encouragement and building one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Genuine friendships, even amongst men, must consist of love, affection, and trust.
This relationship is displayed in the friendship of Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Hazariah (we probably better know the later three individuals by their Babylonian names Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego). Their story in scripture begins as Babylon, under the rule of King Nebuchadnezzar, invades and conquers Jerusalem. Yet, Nebuchadnezzar's plan for overthrowing the people of God does not simply involve military might. Daniel 1 tells us that he first takes the most brilliant minds in Israel, including Daniel and his three friends, and he removes them from their culture and families and places them in his court. They are isolated from their upbringing; he attempts to indoctrinate them with Babylonian thinking, assimilate them into the Babylonian culture, and even gives them Babylonian names.
Throughout all of this, these four young men remain faithful. Through the providence of God, Daniel finds himself among the wise counsel of the king and is tasked with interpreting the mysterious dream of Nebuchadnezzar. Here, we see a real friendship unfolding before our eyes: Daniel, with haste, goes to the home of Hananiah, Mishael, and Hazariah. We are even told for what purpose Daniel goes directly to his three friends – to pray. Here's what Daniel 2: 16-19 states,
16 And Daniel went in and requested the king to appoint him a time, that he might show the interpretation to the king. 17 Then Daniel went to his house and made the matter known to Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, his companions, 18 and told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that Daniel and his companions might not be destroyed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. 19 Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven.
I want to draw a few gleanings from this text that speak on real friendships:
Daniel Possesses a Great Trust in His Three Friends
If you know the story, you will recall that Daniel is in a life-and-death situation. King Nebuchadnezzar wants to kill his counsel. They have, up to this point, failed to give an interpretation of this troubling dream. In a rage, the king has already commanded their murder, but Daniel has asked for time – time for him to pray to the God of Heaven so that life might be rightfully preserved. With his life hanging in the balance, he immediately goes to the home of his three friends. He knows that they will plead for God's mercy on his behalf. He knows that they love him and desire to see his life preserved. Therefore, he trusts his friends significantly and goes to them for continued intercession and counsel.
Daniel’s Friends Pray with and For Him
Hananiah, Mishael, and Hazariah know prayer is the most significant and effective means they can perform for their friend, Daniel. They didn't just say to Daniel, "We will pray for you," and then go about their evening. No, they stop what they are doing and go to the Throne of Mercy on Daniel's behalf. Something is to be said about friends who will sacrifice their time for you, but it is a far greater thing for friends who will plead to our Heavenly Father on your behalf. The way the biblical text unfolds, we find these four friends diligently praying together. Their expectant prayers are with and for Daniel.
Daniel’s Friends Praise God with Him
While the text does not outrightly say that Hananiah, Mishael, and Hazariah bless God, we can imply that they praise God alongside Daniel as their friend burst forth in song. You see, God answered their prayer. Daniel says so in Daniel 2:23!
“…To you, O God of my fathers,
I give thanks and praise,
for you have given me wisdom and might,
and have now made known to me what we asked of you,
for you have made known to us the king's matter.”
You can imagine the scene. Daniel is given the interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar's dream amid the night, probably as these four friends are praying. Daniel immediately begins to offer thanksgiving to God for showing His mercy and faithfulness yet again to His people. Daniel, surrounded by his three friends, is collectively praising their Lord.
Men need friendships like this: real friendships of trust, love, and affection that reveal themselves in action. Men need friends who will plead with them for God's mercy in times of need and praise God alongside them in times of joy.
Admittedly, the Bible says much more about friendship than has been mentioned here. Nonetheless, this scene in Daniel's life is sufficient to glean from. We should look for real friends like Hananiah, Mishael, and Hazariah.
Matt Adams is the senior minister of First Presbyterian Church in Dillon, SC, and serves as an editor for Reforming Men.
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