On many occasions in his letters, the Apostle Paul reminds believers of their responsibilities as Christians. He does this generally to all Christians as he pens verses like, "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth" (Col. 3: 1-2). Paul also focuses on specific groups of people in his letters. In Acts 20:28 he reminds the Ephesians elders of their responsibilities toward those under their care: "Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood”.
Paul also writes specifically to men concerning their Christ-honoring duties toward their families. He addresses them as fathers and husbands. It is the latter that is our focus. Paul writes the following in Ephesians 5: 25-27:
Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Much ink has been spilled over the first dozen words of these verses, but our attention to what Paul is saying should continue beyond there. A husband’s duty toward and love for his wife includes her sanctification. What the Apostle is teaching is that it is the husband's duty to aid and lead in his wife's sanctification.
Sanctification is often seen as only an individual's responsibility, but Paul repeatedly pushes back against that idea in the New Testament. In his letters, he writes that elders in the local church must work towards the sanctification of their congregation, that it is the duty of older men in the local church to aid the sanctification of the younger men, and even that it is the father's responsibility to strive for his children's sanctification. This list could go on because all leaders are responsible for ensuring that those under their authority are growing in Christlikeness.
Therefore, it is not just a duty, but a profound privilege for the husband to ensure that his wife is growing in righteousness; that she is being sanctified by God's Word and Spirit. Practically, this means that the husband should be reading the scriptures with his wife, often praying with and for her, and ensuring that he has his family in a gospel-preaching church.
The Christian husband should be taking this duty seriously, and intentionally looking for spiritual growth in his wife's life. Not only because it is his duty, but because he will one day stand before the Lord to give an account of how he has fulfilled this role. Just as the elders of the local church will have to answer for the way in which they led the local church (Heb. 13:17), husbands will answer for how well they strived towards the sanctification of their wives. Therefore, husbands must be careful with how they build up their wives in holiness. Are you cleansing her through regular time in the Word? Are you leading her in paths of righteousness? Are you correcting spiritual error and teaching the true doctrine of the faith?
Husbands, you will stand accountable before the Lord. If your wife is spiritually stagnant, remember that you have the support of the church community to guide her back to Christ. If she is living a life of disobedience, you have the Word of God to correct her. If she is in theological error, you have the doctrines of our holy religion to teach her. Do not let her remain in her sin; it is your duty to work toward her spiritual growth so that she might be holy and without blemish.
Matt Adams is the senior minister of First Presbyterian Church in Dillon, SC, and serves as an editor for Reforming Men.
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