It is no secret that marriage has taken a massive hit in the past two or three decades. Not only has the culture perverted marriage by celebrating and embracing "homosexual marriage," but there has been a drastic decline in the number of individuals getting married among the "Millennial" and "GEN Z" generations. Several factors can explain this decline. The most significant is cohabitation, where nuptials are bypassed, but a household is established. Another factor is the education individuals pursue, especially among women. In the latest generations, women pursue credentials and degrees; therefore, they do not have time to date, plan weddings, or have children. In their mind, they can get to those seasons of life later. Another factor includes the decreasing religious influence in society; marriage is seen as a sacred tradition, and the hostile world pushes against all things that appear holy.
Here is something else to consider: have you noticed that the number of marriages is decreasing and the age of those getting married is increasing? Have these trends already become such the norm that you have not even noticed? Has the culture determined right in front of you that the definition of marriage is fluid? Has our ignorance of these things allowed these troubling trends to seep into the Church?
If we honestly think through those questions, we will find that by delaying marriage our youngest generations neglect much of God's commanded creation ordinances. In the Garden of Eden, God institutes marriage. This institution of marriage is recorded for us in Genesis 2:20-24:
The man gave names to all livestock to ,the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
So, God, seeing that it was not good for man to be alone and that Adam needed a complement and helper, created a woman. God, after creating Eve, then gives Adam his wife and tells them that they should cleave to one another and become one flesh. Of course, we know that God is commanding the consummation of this first marriage with sex. Furthermore, God gives the chief purpose of marriage and sex as recorded in Genesis 1:28,
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.
God commands Adam and Eve to fill the earth with children. They are to multiply their offspring and subdue the earth. This is how God has designed the advancement of His people to be accomplished. God's people are to marry and have children, and they are to be intentional about their obedience to these commands. Yet, it seems that amidst the troubling trends of our society, that the Church has not considered seriously that delaying marriage is disobedience.
No, we should not rush marriage. There is great wisdom in searching well for a good spouse and seeking the will of the Heavenly Father during the courtship. Waiting until you earn your college degree to marry has great benefits; you must have an income to pay bills, rent a home, etc. Nevertheless, if we take God's commandments seriously, Christians cannot delay marriage.
What is your chief purpose? To be financially stable enough to get married and have children? To achieve a master’s degree, and quite possibly a doctoral degree, before you get married? Should you prioritize your desire for international travel over finding a godly wife? To find an individual you can share the rent with but never marry?
Christian, your chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. How do you do this? You glorify God by obeying His commands, and when you do so, He promises He will bless you, and it will be for your joy. Marriage is a gift. Sex within the marital union is gratifying. Children are a heritage from the Lord. When you delay marriage, not only is there sinful disobedience, but you are missing some of the greatest blessings that our God provides.
Matt Adams is the senior minister of First Presbyterian Church in Dillon, SC, and serves as an editor for Reforming Men.
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