Where was Adam when the Serpent entered Eden and infected Eve with his venomous words? At first, the story reads as if she had been caught unguarded and alone. But then we learn that Adam was there all along, listening as the Serpent twisted the words of God to deceive his wife.
Rather than embracing his prophetic and priestly role, rebuking the Serpent, and correcting his wife, the feckless head quietly acquiesced. Adam's silent affirmation of the enemy's words enabled his wife's transgression. His accepting the fruit from her hand sealed his abdication.
The rest, they say, is history.
The Awful Sound of Man's Silence
Adam's was a failure of words. Uniquely endowed with the linguistic capacity to dialogue with God and exercise verbal dominion (e.g., Gen 2:20), he had been given a voice as one of His greatest tools. Because man's verbal nature abhors a dialogical vacuum, His failure to use that voice to defend and support his wife invited corrupt and corrupting words to fill the space.
Sadly, this silent film repeats itself as Genesis unfolds. Instead of counseling patience, Abram listens to the voice of Sarai and sleeps with Hagar (Gen 16:2; Gal 4:23). Instead of resting in his status as the divinely favored son, Jacob obeys the voice of his mother and executes her scheme (Gen 27:5-12). Later on, he lies down quietly as his wives requisition his body to beget sons (Gen 29:31-30:24). The same holds his "peace" after his daughter's rape and sits silently as his sons speak deceitfully, blaspheming the covenant Lord for the sake of vengeance (Genesis 34).
If time and space permitted, we could move beyond Genesis and speak of the Davids, Solomons, and Herods who abdicated their wordy authority and allowed the voices of subordinates to lead them astray. The heart of the matter is this: the man's voice is meant to be an instrument of godly authority. And when the man goes silent, the Enemy fills the space.
When Others Do All the Talking
Men are called to use our voices for the glory of God and the good of those we lead. Sadly, the sin of passivity crouches at the door, muzzling our verbal authority. Far too many men are content to hold their peace while others do all the talking.
Who might these "others" be?
Mommy Bloggers
Podcast Hosts
Neighborhood Busybodies
Teachers and Administrators
Here's one contender you may not have considered—the man's wife.
Make no mistake: the virtuous wife opens her mouth with wisdom, providing sage counsel to her husband and their children (Prov 31:26-29). Only a fool would ignore her words. Still, virtuous counsel can become vicious prattle when its sole aim is to fill the void left by man's silence.
When Eve must speak because Adam can or will not, disaster is not far off.
Restored Voices and Fitting Words
I have four loud and energetic children. When their shenanigans spiral and my home reaches a certain decibel level, one of the few things that can restore order is my elevated "papa voice."
Volume is sometimes necessary, but it can easily become the angry man's path to violent verbal control. What the home needs is not necessarily a loud voice but an intentional one whose careful words fit the occasion and, thus, build up and give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29).
To the Serpent's "Did God actually say," Adam should have retorted, "No, He did not." To Sarai, Abram should've said, "Wait and pray." To Rebekah, Jacob should've chided, "Remind Father of the promise." To his wives, Solomon should've applied the first word, "We shall have no other Gods before Him."
Fitting words that, alas, were never even tried on.
A Parting Word for the Silent Man
Have you, like Adam, chosen silence over priestly correction and prophetic rebuke? Have you left fitting words untried and watched your loved ones languish in your relative silence?
Take heart. You may be a man of silent lips dwelling in the midst of quiet men but, if you are in Christ, God has provided a lip-cleansing atonement greater than any angelic tong could ever bear. He has spoken a Word whose redemptive eloquence is sufficient to fill every void left by your silence. He has given you a voice and a message—a verbal authority to exercise in the home for His glory and the good of those He has placed under you.
So, speak up, silent man. In humble reliance upon the Spirit's wisdom, speak the bold and fitting words that your wife and children need to hear from your lips. Refuse to cede your verbal authority to the talking heads. This is your privilege and responsibility.
Will you use your voice, or will you let the Enemy have the last word?
Kenny Silva is the pastor of Hickory Grove Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Mt Juliet, TN and a Guest Lecturer at Reformed Theological Seminary (Atlanta). Kenny resides in Lebanon, TN with his wife, Suzanne, and their four children.
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